I'm an git, and deserve it.

I'm not a handsome man but I know what I despise
and thats a face where you can't tell the spots for the eyes
acné is a problem I've never been plagued with
but I feel sorry for the girls with this unwanted gift
the skin doesn't have to be pure, soft or flawless
just clear enough for the facial expressions to be distinguished

so if you're one of those
with a horn on your nose
then I'm afraid it's not meant to be
for you'll never get with me

I'm not saying that you should not bother and just lay about at home
and I don't mean that you can not be pretty without the use of a brush or a comb
all I mean to say is that my tastes are above and beyond that
of the men who don't care how loud is the splat
on the bathroom mirror when each and everytime you go
out comes a milky puss and down the glass it would flow

So if I see you in a bar
and you look good from afar
and if I come near
I'll need a lot of beer

I have ginger hair and a beer belly
I have freckles and can be quite smelly
my eyes are red from watching so much telly
and I use petroleum jelly

but I know what I am, so don't look down at me
for I can live fast and die free
knowing that none of the notches on my bedpost
were riddled with bacteria for which you were the host

sorry ladies, look elsewhere
for someone who cares
cos I don't want oily skin
when I kiss you on your chin